from
a special thanks to:
the unceded ancestral homelands of
the Nuwu (Southern Pauite) and the Tiwa
and to
laura c carlson | Mom (Lauretta Jeffery Jacobsen Swansborough) | Angela Drakeford
my siblings: JoAnn, Kelly, Laura, Jeff, Lori, Chad, Carey, Rebecca, Nathan, Chris Sunday, Patrick
laura’s family | Subhankar Banerjee | Catherine Page Harris | Kency Cornejo | Patrick Manning | Jessamyn Lovell
Jess Zeglin | Erin Gould | Jared Tso | Mary Tsiongas | Kirsten Buick | Clarence Cruz
Jenn Hart-Mann | Szu-Han Ho | Tema Milstein | Susan Devers | Ryan Henel
everyone who answered my questions on the recorder | everyone who came to Fall 2019’s A&E Seminar
and Shanandoah Martineau Anderson
the unceded ancestral homelands of
the Nuwu (Southern Pauite) and the Tiwa
and to
laura c carlson | Mom (Lauretta Jeffery Jacobsen Swansborough) | Angela Drakeford
my siblings: JoAnn, Kelly, Laura, Jeff, Lori, Chad, Carey, Rebecca, Nathan, Chris Sunday, Patrick
laura’s family | Subhankar Banerjee | Catherine Page Harris | Kency Cornejo | Patrick Manning | Jessamyn Lovell
Jess Zeglin | Erin Gould | Jared Tso | Mary Tsiongas | Kirsten Buick | Clarence Cruz
Jenn Hart-Mann | Szu-Han Ho | Tema Milstein | Susan Devers | Ryan Henel
everyone who answered my questions on the recorder | everyone who came to Fall 2019’s A&E Seminar
and Shanandoah Martineau Anderson
“But it is not permissible that the authors of devastation should also be innocent. It is the innocence which constitutes the crime,” - James Baldwin.
We are not well practiced at the work that is required of us during these times. There is no shortage of things to despair and be heartbroken about. The enormity of the tasks ahead of us is enough to keep us stuck inside grief and anger. However, it is imperative that we show up to the work of change. We must choose honesty, empathy, and kindness on this path of collective liberation. We can no longer continue to disregard truths simply because they make us uncomfortable or run counter to the stories we tell ourselves. This is especially true for White people.
(essay by Angela U. Drakefore, continued below)
We are not well practiced at the work that is required of us during these times. There is no shortage of things to despair and be heartbroken about. The enormity of the tasks ahead of us is enough to keep us stuck inside grief and anger. However, it is imperative that we show up to the work of change. We must choose honesty, empathy, and kindness on this path of collective liberation. We can no longer continue to disregard truths simply because they make us uncomfortable or run counter to the stories we tell ourselves. This is especially true for White people.
(essay by Angela U. Drakefore, continued below)
Installation view of:
[1] “upon a rock” - sandstone from Nuwu territory (St. George, Utah), Book of Mormon pages, wheat paste. 2019.
[2] “40 days and 40 nights” (day 38 - 3/7/20) - Books of Mormon, water from Tiwa territory (Albuquerque, NM/Rio Grande), time, mold. 2020.
[3] “pass away so as by fire” - Book of Mormon (burned). 2019.
[4] “dust of the earth” - Book of Mormon, clay from Nuwu territory (St. George, UT/Santa Clara river), sand from many places. 2019.
Installation view of: Commemorative Plates (set 1 of 4) (image credit: Daniel Hojnacki)
Installation view of: The Family (land of my breath, people of my flesh) - print of “The Family: A Proclamation to the World;” photos of my ancestors; dirt, sand, compost, clay, and gypsum from Nuwu land (Washington County, Utah), Tiwa land (Albuquerque, NM), and Mescalaro Apache land (White Sands National Park); photos of "Hudson" ship, covered wagons, and Granite Mountain Records Vault; frames. 2020.
Installation view of: Commemorative Plates (set 2 of 4) (image credit: Daniel Hojnacki)
Installation view of: “in his own image” - mirrors, print of Del Parson’s The First Vision. 2020. AND “laid down to rot and to crumble to its mother earth, to rise no more” - Book of Mormon (composted). 2020. (image credit: Daniel Hojnacki)
Installation view of: Commemorative Plates (sets 1 & 2 of 4), The Family (land of my breath, people of my flesh), monochrome monoculture, and built with and on. (image credit: Daniel Hojnacki)
monochrome monoculture - white paint samples, turf, decorative picket fence, white stripe from a U.S. flag, wood, glue. 2020.
Installation view of: Commemorative Plates (set 3 of 4) (image credit: Daniel Hojnacki)
Installation view of: "The veil was taken from our minds, and the eyes of our understanding were opened," I' M P U R E (deeds), “Reflection on dirt involves reflection on the relation of order to disorder, being to non-being, form to formlessness, life to death," real White?, and Commemorative Plates (set 4 of 4) (image credit: Daniel Hojnacki)
Detail of: I’ M P U R E (deeds)
- performance. table, white table cloth, white lace, doily, white coveralls, white shoes,
white socks, white underwear, face mask, hairnet, pearl necklace, Mr. Clean Bliss gloves,
Behr ultra pure white paint, Book of Mormon, mr. clean MagicEraser, Pure food grade
gypsum, C&H pure cane sugar, Comet with bleach, Hanes 100% cotton panties, Wonder
bread (classic white), Clorox Clean-Up, Nestle Pure Life purified water, ceramic mug, Great
Value bleach, Clorox disinfecting wipes, Signature Care Xtreme whitening wraps, Tippy
Toes baby powder (pure cornstarch), Shur Fine bleached flour, Arm & Hammer pure
baking soda, table salt (100% natural), photo the LDS temple and site of the Mountain
Meadows Massacre, frames. 2020. (image credit: Daniel Hojnacki)
real White - concrete; basalt; sandstone; cinder block; wood; gypsum; fake white poppies; white
stripe of a 100% cotton U.S. flag; Wonder bread (classic white); pure driven snow;
decorative cotton blossoms; 100% silk thread; pure white sugar; 100% natural table salt;
Comet with bleach; bleached flour; whole milk; Clorox disinfecting wipes (kills 99.99%);
pure clay (porcelain); baby powder (pure cornstarch); white wine; 100% white cotton
panties; photos of the sculptures Normman and Norma; alabaster busts of Apollo
Belvedere and Venus de Milo; apple with bite; fake rib bone; white Rock Dove (pigeon)
feathers; doily; handkerchiefs; photo of the Prophet, 1st and 2nd counselors, and 12
apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in their temple in Rome, Italy;
stars cut from a U.S. flag; small U.S. flag dipped in ultra pure white paint. 2020. (image credit: Daniel Hojnacki)
Installation view of: Commemorative Plates (set 4 of 4)
from also includes two audio pieces:
a thickness of truths and there is no end in dying
a thickness of truths is a collage of nearly forty different answers to the questions:
"Where do you come from?"
"What is the purpose of life?"
"What happens after you die?
and "Is the world ending?"
there is no end in dying is a collage of a few different versions of
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints hymn, "If you could hie to Kolob"
and the English folk song, "The Unquiet Grave"
a thickness of truths and there is no end in dying
a thickness of truths is a collage of nearly forty different answers to the questions:
"Where do you come from?"
"What is the purpose of life?"
"What happens after you die?
and "Is the world ending?"
there is no end in dying is a collage of a few different versions of
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints hymn, "If you could hie to Kolob"
and the English folk song, "The Unquiet Grave"
land of my breath, people of my flesh is a partial record
of my people and the lands I was raised with/in.
My family has been Mormon and Utahn for as long
as either of those two things have existed.
All of my direct ancestors were in Utah by 1884
and they never left.
I was raised on Nuwu (Southern Pauite) lands
in a place my people call Saint George, Utah.
But this is not the land my flesh evolved with.
This is not the place from which my language emerged.
I am in love with with this land, the land that raised me.
I am in love with someone else's homeland.
of my people and the lands I was raised with/in.
My family has been Mormon and Utahn for as long
as either of those two things have existed.
All of my direct ancestors were in Utah by 1884
and they never left.
I was raised on Nuwu (Southern Pauite) lands
in a place my people call Saint George, Utah.
But this is not the land my flesh evolved with.
This is not the place from which my language emerged.
I am in love with with this land, the land that raised me.
I am in love with someone else's homeland.
“But it is not permissible that the authors of devastation should also be innocent. It is the innocence which constitutes the crime,” - James Baldwin.
We are not well practiced at the work that is required of us during these times. There is no shortage of things to despair and be heartbroken about. The enormity of the tasks ahead of us is enough to keep us stuck inside grief and anger. However, it is imperative that we show up to the work of change. We must choose honesty, empathy, and kindness on this path of collective liberation. We can no longer continue to disregard truths simply because they make us uncomfortable or run counter to the stories we tell ourselves. This is especially true for White people.
Those of us who are not White know that Whiteness is provided the luxury of never having to fully see itself and its history. We have experienced the ways in which White people have a powerful urge to be seen as one of the good ones. The exhibition from, by nicholas b. jacobsen, is an exploration of personal family history, the culture of Mormonism, and the culture of Whiteness. A video of the performance I' M P U R E considers cleanliness, erasure, purity and the impossibility of it. The work reflects on how Whiteness and cleanliness are performed and asks us to consider the violence that happens when Whiteness is conflated with purity.
There is a tendency to meet the truth about how Whiteness is weaponized with a reflexive distancing from this truth. Guilt, fear, and shame are mobilized as anger and White fragility. nicholas says of the exhibition, “I think one part is learning to experience the nebulous and the ambiguous space of discomfort rather than just the uncomfortable space of discomfort. There is some richness if you can stay through the initial repulsion. This is especially true for White people. Hopefully we can start to see the tendrils of Whiteness that are overlooked and unthought of.”
Looking to the civil rights activist and theologian Ruby Sales we are offered further insight, “...There is nothing wrong with being European American. That’s not the problem. It’s how you actualize that history and how you actualize that reality.” It’s time for White people to get honest with each other about racism, White supremacy, and colonization. nicholas is doing this with The Family. Photographs of their lineage are arranged among picture frames that contain dirt and sediment. This collection of portraits serves as a family tree. However, the earth included in this piece draws a longer timeline than the photographs can show. A timeline that acknowledges the history that occurred before the arrival of White people on this land.
It is necessary that White people talk about their histories and these systems of domination and exploitation with their families and friends. All the while remembering that the changing of minds is slow and difficult work. However, it is work that is crucial if we are to see the end to these systems of oppression. White people have to be open to transformation. They are obligated to liberate themselves from these systems they are also trapped in.
We are going to lose this world if we don’t embrace radical change. We must agree to not make ourselves comfortable with the abundance of suffering found in this world. We need to push ourselves and those around us to be open to change because it is coming and now is the time to decide how we will respond to these crises. We cannot abandon people, nor can we pull away from the work of opening each other’s eyes, hearts, and minds.
from asks that we consider what can we build new when people stop pretending that things are okay. It acknowledges that our lives allow us to knowingly and unknowingly cause harm. It ponders what would happen if we allowed our truth to hold space for the harm we have caused others. nicholas understands that we are living through a time where it is imperative that we be better about telling complex truths. There are deep wounds here that need to be acknowledged, addressed, and healed so we can transform.
This may be one of the hardest things we as a species will have to do. To willingly come away from the systems and institutions that cause harm and are poisoning this world. There are so many things that we have to let go of if we want to enter a space that allows us to dream and ponder about what comes next.
from invites us to stay in a space of the unknown. To not expect to come away with the answers. Resist the urge to be right. Together we can all dream, imagine, experiment, and learn less harmful ways of being. Together we can practice new ways that provide more care. from asks us to imagine ourselves and our relationships differently. It asks us to acknowledge our histories so we can move forward.
No, we don’t know how this will end but: stay here with us, don’t look away. We have to go through this.
And remember:
More kindness
More kindness
More kindness
by Angela U. Drakeford
References
1. Baldwin, James, “The Fire Next Time,” in James Baldwin: Collected Essays : Notes of a Native Son / Nobody Knows My Name / The Fire Next Time / No Name in the Street / The Devil Finds Work / Other Essays, edited by Toni Morrison, 292. Library of America, 1998.
2. Tippett, Krista. Interview with Ruby Sales. On Being. Podcast audio. September 16, 2016. https://onbeing.org/programs/ruby-sales-where-does-it-hurt/.
We are not well practiced at the work that is required of us during these times. There is no shortage of things to despair and be heartbroken about. The enormity of the tasks ahead of us is enough to keep us stuck inside grief and anger. However, it is imperative that we show up to the work of change. We must choose honesty, empathy, and kindness on this path of collective liberation. We can no longer continue to disregard truths simply because they make us uncomfortable or run counter to the stories we tell ourselves. This is especially true for White people.
Those of us who are not White know that Whiteness is provided the luxury of never having to fully see itself and its history. We have experienced the ways in which White people have a powerful urge to be seen as one of the good ones. The exhibition from, by nicholas b. jacobsen, is an exploration of personal family history, the culture of Mormonism, and the culture of Whiteness. A video of the performance I' M P U R E considers cleanliness, erasure, purity and the impossibility of it. The work reflects on how Whiteness and cleanliness are performed and asks us to consider the violence that happens when Whiteness is conflated with purity.
There is a tendency to meet the truth about how Whiteness is weaponized with a reflexive distancing from this truth. Guilt, fear, and shame are mobilized as anger and White fragility. nicholas says of the exhibition, “I think one part is learning to experience the nebulous and the ambiguous space of discomfort rather than just the uncomfortable space of discomfort. There is some richness if you can stay through the initial repulsion. This is especially true for White people. Hopefully we can start to see the tendrils of Whiteness that are overlooked and unthought of.”
Looking to the civil rights activist and theologian Ruby Sales we are offered further insight, “...There is nothing wrong with being European American. That’s not the problem. It’s how you actualize that history and how you actualize that reality.” It’s time for White people to get honest with each other about racism, White supremacy, and colonization. nicholas is doing this with The Family. Photographs of their lineage are arranged among picture frames that contain dirt and sediment. This collection of portraits serves as a family tree. However, the earth included in this piece draws a longer timeline than the photographs can show. A timeline that acknowledges the history that occurred before the arrival of White people on this land.
It is necessary that White people talk about their histories and these systems of domination and exploitation with their families and friends. All the while remembering that the changing of minds is slow and difficult work. However, it is work that is crucial if we are to see the end to these systems of oppression. White people have to be open to transformation. They are obligated to liberate themselves from these systems they are also trapped in.
We are going to lose this world if we don’t embrace radical change. We must agree to not make ourselves comfortable with the abundance of suffering found in this world. We need to push ourselves and those around us to be open to change because it is coming and now is the time to decide how we will respond to these crises. We cannot abandon people, nor can we pull away from the work of opening each other’s eyes, hearts, and minds.
from asks that we consider what can we build new when people stop pretending that things are okay. It acknowledges that our lives allow us to knowingly and unknowingly cause harm. It ponders what would happen if we allowed our truth to hold space for the harm we have caused others. nicholas understands that we are living through a time where it is imperative that we be better about telling complex truths. There are deep wounds here that need to be acknowledged, addressed, and healed so we can transform.
This may be one of the hardest things we as a species will have to do. To willingly come away from the systems and institutions that cause harm and are poisoning this world. There are so many things that we have to let go of if we want to enter a space that allows us to dream and ponder about what comes next.
from invites us to stay in a space of the unknown. To not expect to come away with the answers. Resist the urge to be right. Together we can all dream, imagine, experiment, and learn less harmful ways of being. Together we can practice new ways that provide more care. from asks us to imagine ourselves and our relationships differently. It asks us to acknowledge our histories so we can move forward.
No, we don’t know how this will end but: stay here with us, don’t look away. We have to go through this.
And remember:
More kindness
More kindness
More kindness
by Angela U. Drakeford
References
1. Baldwin, James, “The Fire Next Time,” in James Baldwin: Collected Essays : Notes of a Native Son / Nobody Knows My Name / The Fire Next Time / No Name in the Street / The Devil Finds Work / Other Essays, edited by Toni Morrison, 292. Library of America, 1998.
2. Tippett, Krista. Interview with Ruby Sales. On Being. Podcast audio. September 16, 2016. https://onbeing.org/programs/ruby-sales-where-does-it-hurt/.
Resources:
Leticia Alvarado. "Abject Performances: Aesthetic Strategies in Latino Cultural Production." 2018. Book.
David Batchelor. "Chromophobia." 2000. Book.
Ned Blackhawk. "Violence Over the Land: Indians and Empires in the Early American West." 2006. Book.
Kirsten Buick. "American Landscapes." University of New Mexico, College of Fine Arts, Department of Art & Art History. 2019. University Course.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. churchofjesuschrist.org. Website.
Jon T. Coleman. "Vicious: Wolves and Men in America." 2004. Book.
Mary Douglas. "Purity and Danger: An Analysis of Concepts of Pollution and Taboo." 1966. Book.
Phillip B. Gottfredson. "The Black Hawk War; Utah's Forgotten History." 2018. blackhawkproductions.com. Website.
nicholas b jacobsen. "Glossary of Unsettling Origins." nicholasbjacobsen.com/glossary_of_unsettling_origins. 2020. Website.
P. Jane Hafen and Brenden W. Rensink, (Editors) "Essays on American Indian and Mormon History." 2019. Book.
Longreads. "Bundyville." May, 2018. longreads.com/bundyville/season-one. Podcast.
Hayes Peter Mauro. "Messianic Fulfillments: Staging Indigenous Salvation in America." 2019. Book.
Alexis Shotwell. "Against Purity: Living Ethically in Compromised Times." 2016. Book.
The Red Nation. "White terror, Las Vegas, & Paiute homelands w/ Kristen Simmons." The Red Nation Podcast. therednation.org/podcast. Podcast.
Kristen Simmons. "Settler Atmospherics." Society for Cultural Anthropology. November 20, 2017. culanth.org/fieldsights/settler-atmospherics. Article.
James E. Talmage. "The Story and Philosophy of 'Mormonism'." 1914. Book.
Krista Tippett "Serene Jones: On Grace." On Being. December 5, 2019. onbeing.org/programs/serene-jones-on-grace. Podcast.
U.S. Department of Interior, National Park Service. "Encounter on the High Desert: The story behind Pipe Springs National Monument." Pipe Springs National Monument Vistor's Center. Video.
U.S. Department of Interior, National Park Service. "Pipe Springs National Monument." Kaibab Paiute Reservation. 206 West Pipe Springs Road, Fredonia, Arizona 86022. May 31, 1923. nps.gov/pisp. Place.
Washington County Historical Society, Shanandoah Martineau Anderson. "Shannon Martineau | Oral History Interview." May 27, 2019. youtube.com/watch?v=9jN8SkHiD2M. Video.
Terry Tempest WIlliams. "Refuge: An Unnatural History of Family and Place." 1991. Book.
Leticia Alvarado. "Abject Performances: Aesthetic Strategies in Latino Cultural Production." 2018. Book.
David Batchelor. "Chromophobia." 2000. Book.
Ned Blackhawk. "Violence Over the Land: Indians and Empires in the Early American West." 2006. Book.
Kirsten Buick. "American Landscapes." University of New Mexico, College of Fine Arts, Department of Art & Art History. 2019. University Course.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. churchofjesuschrist.org. Website.
Jon T. Coleman. "Vicious: Wolves and Men in America." 2004. Book.
Mary Douglas. "Purity and Danger: An Analysis of Concepts of Pollution and Taboo." 1966. Book.
Phillip B. Gottfredson. "The Black Hawk War; Utah's Forgotten History." 2018. blackhawkproductions.com. Website.
nicholas b jacobsen. "Glossary of Unsettling Origins." nicholasbjacobsen.com/glossary_of_unsettling_origins. 2020. Website.
P. Jane Hafen and Brenden W. Rensink, (Editors) "Essays on American Indian and Mormon History." 2019. Book.
Longreads. "Bundyville." May, 2018. longreads.com/bundyville/season-one. Podcast.
Hayes Peter Mauro. "Messianic Fulfillments: Staging Indigenous Salvation in America." 2019. Book.
Alexis Shotwell. "Against Purity: Living Ethically in Compromised Times." 2016. Book.
The Red Nation. "White terror, Las Vegas, & Paiute homelands w/ Kristen Simmons." The Red Nation Podcast. therednation.org/podcast. Podcast.
Kristen Simmons. "Settler Atmospherics." Society for Cultural Anthropology. November 20, 2017. culanth.org/fieldsights/settler-atmospherics. Article.
James E. Talmage. "The Story and Philosophy of 'Mormonism'." 1914. Book.
Krista Tippett "Serene Jones: On Grace." On Being. December 5, 2019. onbeing.org/programs/serene-jones-on-grace. Podcast.
U.S. Department of Interior, National Park Service. "Encounter on the High Desert: The story behind Pipe Springs National Monument." Pipe Springs National Monument Vistor's Center. Video.
U.S. Department of Interior, National Park Service. "Pipe Springs National Monument." Kaibab Paiute Reservation. 206 West Pipe Springs Road, Fredonia, Arizona 86022. May 31, 1923. nps.gov/pisp. Place.
Washington County Historical Society, Shanandoah Martineau Anderson. "Shannon Martineau | Oral History Interview." May 27, 2019. youtube.com/watch?v=9jN8SkHiD2M. Video.
Terry Tempest WIlliams. "Refuge: An Unnatural History of Family and Place." 1991. Book.
the talk
the catalog
the glossary
Glossary of Unsettling Origins: The Shape of Things That Shaped Me
is a series of texts organized as a glossary.
This body of text contains early research on
my personal and ancestral histories
with the land I was raised with/in
at the intersections of Mormonism,
settler-coloniality, Whiteness, and American-ness.
This writing led to the exhibition, from.
is a series of texts organized as a glossary.
This body of text contains early research on
my personal and ancestral histories
with the land I was raised with/in
at the intersections of Mormonism,
settler-coloniality, Whiteness, and American-ness.
This writing led to the exhibition, from.
